There are no short cuts to any place worth going...

WI and Update

2009-06-23T06:23:00.001-07:00

Well, it's been another intense week. Emotional, intense and exciting. I'm leaving Lethbridge this afternoon for good and making my way to the Greater Vancouver area. Unfortunatly my husband will be staying here for a few weeks to finish up work. The countdown begins until we are together again in the Vancouver area. Ah, change.

On a really positive note, I lost 2 more lbs this week! I am now at 167.5, a total loss so far of 21.5lbs in 9 weeks. Interesting to say the least because it has been another week with very little intentional exercise, no points tracking and so-so eating. I'm pleasantly suprised that I continue to loose each week without much effort. How come it never used to be this easy?

To those of you still struggling to see the sclae go down...you know who you are...I think your on the right track and it will only be a matter of time for you too. I'm sure of it! Keep it up.

I am more than excited to get a new gym membership and get back to an exercise routine. I'll also be purchasing a new bike next week. Really looking forward to the next chapter and loosing the next 20 lbs.

Have a great week everyone and I look forward to more regular blogging starting again next week.

WI and 10% reached!

2009-06-15T07:58:00.000-07:00

Well I had another weigh in this morning. I've been good-ish this week. Not as much exercise as usual and I've had dinners out a couple times (including last night!) I was expecting a gain and had prepared myself for one. However, I did have a 1 pound loss. This is wonderful. Basically it proves 2 things. I have learned about portions and food choices enough to make the right decisions without having to track every bite. I NEED to up the exercise. It matters. Also, this petite loss takes me into the 160s and I have busted through my first 10% loss.

I am trying to get back to tracking completly. Moving is crazy and my computr is all the way in the basement and it's much more inconvienient to hang out on the computer. I can't wait to be back into a routine.

In other news. I move in 1 week! Ahh. Yay for finally getting to the coast, boo for having to be seperate from my husband and small cat for almost a month. Exciting though.

I'm going to Shred again this week to get the sweat factor back up. As my life style is getting gradually healthier I find I am moving more. This is good. But a walk no longer counts for intentional exercise. This is my mantra. Intentional Exercise. Intentional Exercise. Intentional Exercise.

I say good day.

I'M BA-ACK...cue creepy music

2009-06-10T08:28:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone. It's been a while and I apologize. I have a good excuse though...well 2 really.

1) We were out of town 2 weekends ago (for my run with Julie...I'm sure you saw the pics on her blog!) When we returned, my Mom came down from Vancouver for the week to help us pack up our house and do some painting/mini reno projects before listing our place. I'm moving out to the Greater Vancouver Area on June 23 and my Husband will follow in a few weeks once he's done work. SO excited!

2) I've been having something weird going on with every blog template I try...it won't activate comment posts....strange. Anyways, I've reverted back to an oldie template that I know works for the time being.

Here's whats been going on.

Julie and I did our HSBC 5K run on May 31st. It was awesome. We did it in run walk increments (run 2 walk 1) and finished in about 38 minutes I think. It was a major success for me because last June I attempted one of these and wanted to die. I hated every moment of it. This time, I really liked most of it. I admit, Julie was yelling at me near the end when I could see the finish line and still wanted to stop and walk. But I did it and I was was really proud.

My WI on June 1st was amazing and I lost 3.5 lbs. Putting me at 170.5 (which is 0.4 away from my 10% goal)

Last week was RIDICULOUS. I did zero intentional exercise, but I was packing and working all week. Even though I ate like crap (included Tim's Breakfasts, Chinease Food, Another meal out) i still managed to maintain my weight. I was SOOO happy. I was sure I'd put on 5 lbs. Thank the lord.

I'm back to the grind now. Still finding it a little difficult to get back into a routine with my life all packed away, but workin on it.

ALSO I have been loosly following the Green Smoothie Cleanse from Meagan Telpner's Blog "Making Love in the Kitchen" I'm doing a Green Monster type smoothie for Breakfast and Dinner. Real lunch for now so I don't go crazy.

Oh yeah, I also tried one of those LARABARS that everyone talks about. I tried the one called "Cashew Cookie." It's only ingrediants were Cashews and Dates. Strange. Tasted really good though!

Blog Make-Over

2009-05-28T12:55:00.000-07:00

As per Julie's recommendations, I have given my blog a slight make-over. I'm not sure I love it, so it may change again.

This week has been pretty good so far. I feel like I haven't been moving as much as usual, but I'm having some pain in my shins and I'm trying to stay off of them in preparation for my 5k on Sunday. I've been spinning/biking/doing videos. I don't know, I just feel sort of lazy. Perhaps it's the heat.

I was teaching this morning then went for a little bike ride around the neighbourhood early this afternoon. It's an absolutely beautiful day and not windy at all, which is definitely rare here in Lethbridge. I'm done teaching tonight at 7:30 so I think I'll go with the hubby for a nice walk.

I've been thinking about purchasing a new bike. I am currently using my husbands old (and much too big for me) bike and I would love to have one that fits me. I also think it would be a fun activity we could do together since it's so low impact and Cory could definitely keep up. I took a look online and I'm thinking about cashing in some airmiles for some Sportchek Gift Cards. I can get about $125 worth to put towards a new bike. It would essentially be like getting a bike for half price. Hmm. I checked out the Canadian Tire website too to see how much they are there...I'd basically be paying a couple hundred at least. Anyone bought a bike at Sportchek? Anyone have any opinions on this matter?

On another note. It looks like the man and I are taking the plunge and finally moving to Greater Vancouver. Cross your fingers, pray, whatever you do....we need jobs! I'm done teaching the third week of June and I will be heading out about that time. Cory will follow within 2 weeks. We'll be staying with my parents until we can find a place and get set up. At his point, I'm willing to make major sacrifices to be out there and get this show on the road. I may be working at Tim Hortons, or my 15 year old brother may be training me at McD's. haha. Hopefully not.

That means, Julie and I will be less than an hour away for a year. Yay. Until she moves her butt back to Alberta. We can't win. But I'll take what I can get :)

Looking forward to this weekend! Dinner with Julie and fam Saturday night, 5k Sunday morning, then I'm staying with a good friend and her new little daughter for the night in Calgary.

Hope everyone is having a great week.

Reached my first goal!

2009-05-25T08:31:00.001-07:00

Well I had a really great week and it showed on the scale again. I am down another 1.5lbs. The best part is that I have now reached my first goal of 15 lbs lost! 15 lbs in 5 weeks. Amazing. I am so proud of myself for sticking with this.

My reward for this goal is 2 new cookbooks. I previously purchased them at COSTCO and hid them in my closet until this very moment. This morning I will be enjoying my coffee and reading through "The Biggest Loser Family Cookbook" and "Hungry Girl 200 under 200" I am so excited to have some new recipes to try.

The past week was good. I continued to get tons of AP's (just about 60 I think) and of course I stayed on points completely. I even had a treat of a small ice cream yesterday while on a day trip to Waterton.

I did a "practice" run/walk of the 5k that Julie and I are doing next Sunday. I did totally great. Run 2 then walk 2. It took me about 37 minutes. Good for me anyways. I know Julie won't let me get away with Run2/Walk2 so I'm going to try Run 2 Walk 1 today and see how it goes. I'm pretty sure I can do it.

Breakfast this morning was some Cottage Cheese Oatmeal Pancakes. Sounds weird, but they are really good.
Make 4 small pancakes
2 servings (of 2)
4 points per serving

1/2 cup oats (not cooked)
1/4 cup cottage cheese
2 eggs (I'm sure just the whites are fine)
1 tsp vanilla
1/4 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp sugar or splenda

Put it all in a blender and give 'er. Cook like regular pancakes with some PAM in a med-high pan. I topped mine with almond butter, grated apple and a little plain yogurt.

Just a quick one right now, need to get some coffee and get my day going. Hope everyone has a wonderful week!

Yipee!!

2009-05-22T08:39:00.000-07:00

CONGRATULATIONS TO JULIE! She has successfully lost big number for the last 3 weeks in a row. She had taken the plunge into the 160's! I am so very proud of her. I honestly think that if I had the struggles she was dealing with at first, I probably would have quit. But she didn't. She usually doesn't. That's why she is so wonderful!

Can't wait to see your skinny butt next weekend. (haha, your butt has always been skinny....can't wait to see your skinny-ness next weekend!)

Way to keep healthy my friend.

Enjoy your day and celebrate!

New Workout DVD Reviews

2009-05-21T12:41:00.000-07:00

As I mentioned a couple days ago, I purchased the "Biggest Loser Bootcamp" and "Jillian Michaels' Blast Fat Boost Metabolism" DVD's. I'm actually very happy with both.

BL Bootcamp - Led by Bob.

This DVD is broken up into 3 sections plus a 5 min warm-up and 5 minute cool down. You ADD on sections as you get better, increasing the workout from 20min to 45min. I did the warm-up, the first 20min section and the cool down. I think after finishing the Shred I'm beyond just doing the beginner level on it's own. HOWEVER, I was totally soaked after the first section. I liked the variety in the moves and weight exercises. There are previous BL contestants doing the video with Bob and it's a little unorganized (all changing the moves at different times, etc) but I get the point. It's supposed to be for regular people. Also, I liked his Yoga based cool down moves. I'm unsure of how to count this video...I think maybe moderate rather than high. I wasn't DYING the entire time.

Jill's Fast Blast Boost Metabolism-

I LOVE LOVE LOVE this video. 40 minutes of intensity plus 5 min warm-up and 5 minute cool down. Interestingly, there are no weights involved. Her "girls" are super athletes which makes me be a little more hardcore and Jillian is by FAR more ripped in this video than she was in the Shred. She actually does most of the moves too, which is cool. This video is make up of 7 different 6 minute circuits. 2 are based on kick boxing, 1 is calisthenics, 1 is ply metrics, one is floor/plank etc. It is continuously intense and you really never stop moving. I recognised many of the moves from the Shred but there are a ton of new really awesome ones too. I was able to get through the entire video (alright, I stopped for water a few times) but I think it will remain challenging for quite some time. The DVD also has a feature that lets you choose which circuits you want to do...if you only have, say, 25 minutes. That's good too. I'll b e counting this as high intensity for 40 minutes (not counting the 10 min for warm up/cool down.) 6 AP's. If it get's substantially easier I'll move it to moderate. Definitely as intense if not more intense than the Shred for the time being though. I miss push-ups though. I was really starting to get used to those.

I'm partial to Jillian. Intensity is sort of my thing. I think the use of weights in Bob's will be a nice complement to Jillian's though.

Also, I added in a 12 minute "Oldie but goodie" video for abs from my Slim in 6 DVDs. "Slim in 6 pack" I find both videos are sort of lacking in hardcore ab moves, so this should keep the momentum going in that department. In addition, I've been trying to do either a short Pilate's or stretch video every evening so my body doesn't give out on me :) It's quite relaxing and I can reach well past my toes with straight legs while stretching. Never been able to do that before.

Alright, that's my reviews. Julie, you know the drill. I'll bring the DVD's for you to "try" when we meet up for our reunion run in a couple weeks....eek...less than that.

Good luck at your weight in tomorrow Julie. Hope everyone else is having a great week.

PS - I had an adventure this morning trying to make homemade almond butter.....was I successful?...you can wait anxiously for my post on that :)

A few new recipes.

2009-05-20T09:57:00.000-07:00

Hello guys!

First off, congrats to Skinny Me!!! on her major loss at this weeks weigh in. Keep it up girl!

I had sort of a blah day yesterday. I think my body needed a little rest after my mach 10 attempts at AP's last week. Alas, I just did a Pilates DVD in an attempt to stretch and get a little movement in. I feel a lot better today though and I'm looking forward to the rest of the week. Long, long teaching day today (1-9) so I'll be glad when that's over.

Thought I'd do a little post on some of the recipes I've tried yesterday and so far today. Julie asked me to try and post the actual recipes along with pics when I can, so here you go! I'll try and do the recipes whenever I have the extra time.

This is my very random lunch yesterday. I kind of just made it up on the spotm but it turned out to be SO yummy.

Warm Coucous Salad with spinach, mushrooms and cashews
1 serving = 5 points.
1/4 cup of cooked whole wheat organic couscous (cooked in Veggie stock)
1 cup fresh spinach
1/2 cup fresh muchrooms
handful of cashews
half a lemon of fresh lemon juice
1 fresh chopped scallions
Garlic Powder

Add the Spinach to the hot cooked coousous, cover and let it wilt. Meanwhile sautee the mushrooms with some garlic powder in a tiny tiny bit of oil and veggie stock. When the mushrooms are almost done, add the cashews to the pan to lightly toast. Add the mushrooms and cashews to the couscous and spinach. Squeese on fresh lemon juice and top with fresh scallions. Enjoy!

Our dinner last night was a Chicken Parmasen Burger. I take no credit for this recipe because I lifted it from a blog the other day. Very very good though.

Makes 4 servings. 7 points per burger including topping. Plus Bun.

Ingrediants;

Burgers

1 lb, extra lean ground chicken

1/4 cup, grated parmesan cheese

1/4 cup, bread crumbs

1 clove, garlic

1 medium, shallot

3 tbsp, fresh chopped parsley

2tsp, Italian Seasoning

Topping

1 cup or so, pasta sauce

1 cup, sauteed mushrooms

4 large slices, fat-free mozza cheese

In a medium bowl combine all of the ingredients for the burgers. Mix well until thoroughly combined. Form the mixture into 4 patties. Refrigerate for about 30 minutes to allow the flavors to mingle.
Grill (or broil) burgers for 4-6 minutes on one side, then flip and grill for 4-6 more minutes on the other side until fully browned and cooked through. Remove from the grill, top each burger with pasta sauce and cheese. Place back under the broiler for 30-60 seconds until the cheese is melted. Top with sautéed mushrooms if desired, and serve on toasted hamburger buns.

Finally, my breakfast this morning was SO SO good. I've been seeing some interesting Oatmeal concoctions on food blogs. This is my attempt. Peanut Butter and Banana Oatmeal. Really really filling too. 5.5 Points

1/3 cup of large flake oatmeal

1 banana

1 tsp natural peanut butter

1/2 tsp honey

1/4 cup of plain, non fat yougurt

Cook oatmeal according to directions. Add all other ingrediants and stir. Enjoy!

Hope everyone enjoys their Wednesday. Halfway to the weekend!

"You want results, you've gotta fight for them..."

2009-05-18T08:30:00.000-07:00

So I had an intense week. I'm just sort of like that in general. I embrace things completely or not at all. Julie always reminds me of my "B" phase (B for Becky.) Remember when monograms were all the rage on purses and necklaces? Well I had 2 monogram purses, a monogram hat, several necklaces, probably a shirt or two. And I wore it all together. I was a walking trend. I also embraced the 80's fashion resurgence in 2003. Too painful to speak about though.

I digress.

Back to my week. So somehow this week I managed to earn 60 AP's. My weekly goal was 40, but it got out of hand very quickly. I did spinning (3 x 1hr, 9 AP each), Shredding (7 x 3AP each), a few bike rides, regular gym stuff and an intense few hour walk on Sunday. I feel wonderful and was full of energy all week. On top of all this, I made all of my meals at home this week and didn't have to dip into my weekly points at all. Just an all around success. I decided last night that I didn't care what the scale said this morning for my WI. I knew I had done my absolute best all week. That being said, I was pleasantly rewarded for all my hard work with a 2.5 lbs loss! Yippee!

I have lost 13.5lbs in my first 4 weeks on WW and a total of 11 inches from all over the place. This is so worth all the effort. I feel amazing and more motivated than ever.

Also, today is my last day of the 30 Day Shred. All 30 days in a row. No missed days. Peace out Jillian. It's been great.

I leave you today with some inspirational lyrics from a favorite cool down song of mine. Believe by Suzie McNeil.

No one says it's easy

And no one says you have to be perfect

But as long as you try

You're always gonna find

It was worth it...

The day after tomorrow...

2009-05-17T09:03:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is day 30 of the Shred. I can't believe it's been 30 days. I feel amazing and it's so great to know that on days I'm feeling blah, if nothing more, at least I've "Shredded." I haven't missed a single day, which probably makes this the first time in my entire life that I've stuck to something this long. That being said, this also marks the end of my first month on WW. So I guess I've stuck to 2 things for 30 days....more to come.

The day after tomorrow I begin month 2 of WW and the second installment of BL DVD's. I went to Chapters yesterday and purchased 'Biggest Loser Bootcamp' and 'Jillian Michael's - Banish Fat Boost Metabolism.' BL Bootcamp looks like 3 levels, level 1 20 min, level 2 15 min, level 3 10 mins. It seems to me that you ADD ON levels as you go through them...so eventually you have a 45 minute workout plus 5 min each of warm-up and cool down. It's with Bob. We'll see. Banish Fat is just one workout for 40 minutes.

Listen people, I work from home. Most day I have my mornings free. I have no reason to "phone-in" (haha, Shred joke....) my workouts and have them only be 20 minutes. I can totally find the time to do 40-60 min. On days when I really am short for time, I'll just pull the Shred back out.

I declare here and now that I will do another 30 days of consistent DVD workouts on top of my normal gym and other activities starting Tuesday. I think I will still call it Shredding for ease of words. But it could be any one of three DVDS.

Finally, I tried making a Falafel Burger last night. I used a slightly modified recipe from the Rachael Ray cookbook "The Big Orange Book." (Man, she uses a LOT of oil in her recipes.) Anyways, it was really good. She called for a high fat Tahini based sauce but I just made a fake-out tzaziki sauce with plain, non-fat yogurt, dill, lemon and garlic. Topped it off with the sauce and some sliced cucumber. It is not the most colorful of meals. But it was really good. I'm going to have the left overs in a pita for lunch today with some greek salad. Yummy.

Thanks to all the new people who have been reading and leaving comments! Much appreciated! I'm enjoying checking out your blogs as well.

Off to the gym for some spinning.

WI tomorrow. Send skinny vibes :)

Fake-out Take-out

2009-05-15T20:12:00.000-07:00

Just a short post tonight. I wanted to say 3 things.

1) First of all, congrats to JUJU on her WI this morning! The scale is now moving in the right direction, receiving from me a resounding "Hallelujah!"

2) I went for a bike ride tonight. For the first time in probably 10 years. I enjoyed it more than I can express. I truly loved every moment of it. I can not wait to go again tomorrow. On that note, can I just ask one question....when I used to bike ride it was common place to get off and walk your bike across roads. Is this still the correct procedure? I got off and walked across roads while people were whirring past me on their bikes. Am I that biking dork with my past leg tucked into my sock and a goofy helmet? Am I supposed to ride across? At intersections? This seems a little dangerous to me. Please tell me if I missed an update on the rules.

3) I made the most wonderful and awesome dinner tonight. Courtesy of Rachael Ray. I used her recipe for Orange BBQ Cashew Chicken. Basically fake-out take-out. We had it with some brown rice. OMG! So so so so so so so so good. I definitely recommend you try it. You can fine the recipe on her site. (I just didn't stir-fry the chicken in canola oil...way too many points. Just a little tiny bit of oil and chicken stock.) It was 7 points for one serving plus 2 points for the rice. Makes 4 servings. Unbelievable and TOTALLY worth the points. Wowza.

Here's a pic of my breaky (Peanut butter and banana on toast) and my yummy dinner!

Seriously? Doesn't that look good? Left overs tomorrow!

The butterfly effect.

2009-05-14T09:07:00.000-07:00

So I was doing some thinking and I realized that if I stick to WW and loose 1 lb per week I can be at my (first) goal of 150lbs by Nov 16th of this year. That's 28 weeks of loosing 1lb per week. Total loss of 39 lbs. I can totally do that. That would also allow me to be at 165lbs by our anniversary on Aug 8th. That would be a loss of 24lbs. All these little, seemingly inadequate loses over all the weeks do add up. And they can add up pretty quick in the grand scheme of things. Some little thing you do today, making that right decision this afternoon, really can impact the future you. It's like those time lapse pics on BL. It's difficult to notice the loses week by week (even though they were often loosing double digits...) but when you watch the time lapse, it all adds up to AMAZING results.

I've been doing WW for almost a month now. 4 weeks on this coming Monday. If someone would have said to me a month ago, "hey, I have a guaranteed way for you to loose 11+ pounds in the next month" you can bet I would have jumped at the opportunity and told everyone I know. Is it really this easy? Not that it is easy, per say, but if this is all I had to do from the beginning...geeesh; all that strife over trying to loose weight.

I'm starting to think that all those people who have "tried everything" and couldn't loose weight, really didn't try everything. I think in the majority of cases (save for some people with medical limitations) this eating well and exercising does work. Over time. Of course there will be set backs. Gains some weeks, nothing in other weeks. But over time, in the grand scheme of things, the body responds. If it doesn't, you didn't really do it.

This is just my opinion. I suppose it could change if I loose some momentum. But for now, I really truly believe this.

It all comes down to this...

2009-05-13T08:02:00.000-07:00

Well, what an exciting (and all together epic) evening last night. Usually I tape BL, but I decided to watch the 3 hour finale. It was long. Intense. Anti-climactic. But I still loved it.

1) I loved that Jerry won the at home prize. He looked great. Although some of those with young families probably could have used the money more.

2) I was impressed by mostly everyone elses weighins. I loved that Sione and Philipe looked so great. I think that Kristin looked great too. That one crazy girl who only lost a bit, she still bugs me. And I thought it was really sad that the one young guy only lost like 40 lbs. Now what for him? Do they still help him out?

3) I have read that Jillian is not going to be on the next season of BL. However, they said nothing of that, no "Thanks Jill" or anything. hmmm.

4) I think Mike looked great and almost a little too thin for my male tastes. But he looked unreal.

5) Tara. What can I say. Basically I want to look like her. She is amazing. I've always wanted her to win, but quite frankly, I think she looks perfect at the weight she is now. 10 more lbs and I think she will be too skinny.

6) Speaking of too skinny. Helen. Good for her. She looked really incredible. BUT I think that weight will be impossible for her to maintain. I heard she is 5'6. Personally I think women look better when they still have curves. I'm bitter. I wanted Tara to win. haha

Enough BL. I love that show though.

So I tried out some new recipes from ESBM and I wanted to share them.Above is the 'Kentucky Freud Chicken.' Basically a baked chicken with lots of yummy seasonings. I liked it because it was a little crispy and not greasy AT ALL.

The next recipe was INCREDIBLE. Also from ESBM, it's the 'Crash Test Dumplings.' I've always wanted to try a recpie like this and I was impressed by how well it turned out. I bought some wanton wrappers from the grocery store and filled them with a yummy asian flavored mixture of ground chicken. We steamed them and served them with the really well flavored sauce they also had a recipe for. The actual wanton making was a little time consuming and you can only steam them in one layer at a time so you have to make them in batches. But so worth it. We also tried some Whole Wheat Couscous for the first time. Just boiled a little chicken stock and bam. Easy a pie? Easier really.

A really great day. I'm looking forward to throwing the left over wantons/dumplings into some soup for lunch this afternoon. Also Day 25 of Shredding today with no days missed. Just about done! I need to go look for a new DVD.

Have a great day!

You spin me right 'round baby, right round.....

2009-05-11T12:24:00.000-07:00

Well, a great "Non Scale Victory" for me today. I successfully motivated myself through my own HOUR long spin session at the gym. It was amazing. Truly, I felt totally unstoppable. 60 minutes and 9, count 'em 9, AP's.

I've realized that the absolute best way to spin is with some amazing music. The other night found a whole ton of fast remixes of everything from Celine to MJ to old school '90's stuff like Scatman...(do you remember this song...the beat is amazing for working out.) So I plunked myself on the spin bike and decided I could do at least 45 minutes (the length of my spinning classes.) Once I got to 45 I thought "what the hey, I'll just keep going!!!" I was totally soaked, my face was red as a cherry and I felt like I was going to keel over. But I didn't. Then, I put on my cool down selections (today's was The Climb by Miley Cyrus and a song called Believe by I don't know who.) Basically I almost started to cry. In the gym. Biggest Loser Style. While I was stretching on the bike. I was so exhausted and impressed with myself and into the song I just about freaken started crying. haha. So funny. I think I busted through a mental block today. I keep telling the hubby to stop saying that he can't in regards to exercise etc and I think I'm finally started to believe it myself.

Whether you think you can, or you think you can't, you will.

Down 1.5lbs at my WI today. Total of 11lbs lost in 3 weeks.

SO excited to keep this going. I truly feel better than I have in years.

M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U.....this is taking too long....

2009-05-08T18:54:00.000-07:00

I will be channeling my inner preteen for this posting.

What has happened to the "here and now" mentality of my youth? Countless authors has written about it (ie. Eckhart Tolle - A New Earth) and it's a common subject between friends. Why can't we just stop living for the next "big" moment?

I will be happy when (fill in the blank)
I loose 20 lbs
I quit my job
I get married
I have children
I have a bigger house
........

I have very little patience for anything anymore, including my recently restored weight-loss journey. They say patience is a virtue. I'm not really sure what that even means, but I know I'm desperately looking to hold onto whatever patience I have at least a few days a week. But I am learning...(and impatiently waiting for the next weigh in...)

In an attempt to better appreciate all the little things that add up to what is, essentially, our lives, I offer you the following innocent lyrics as told through the eyes of a sort-of teenage girl who probably knows very little about struggle or patience seeing as she has a (successful?) singer father and has been on Disney's payroll since the age of 11. All bitterness aside, please look up this song "The Climb" by Miley Cyrus. I have posted the lyrics to the chorus below. Insightful little ditty.

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waitin' on the other side
It's the climb

Miley is right your know. It is the climb. Or at least it should be. I'm going to try and put that into perspective.

On a totally unrated note, I did BOTH level 1 and 3 of the Shred tonight. Level one with the hubby and then I thought, "just do it....seriously." So I did. And I survived.

May Goals

2009-05-01T10:40:00.001-07:00

In keeping with the general attempt at bettering myself I have laid out the following goals for the month of May.

1) Complete the 30 day Shred. I will continue to do the Shred everyday, making day 30 on Monday May 18th. At this point I will either a) keep shredding b) find a new DVD to do (maybe BL Bootcamp or something..)

2) Stay OP. So far I have had absolitly no problem staying within my points allowance. It's been 12 days so I know I can do it. That being said I have not eating at a restauruant or eaten ANY mealsthat I havn't made myself, soo...

3) Eat in a restaurant or subway/timmies no more than once every 2 weeks. I think for me, this is where I may have some trouble. I'm picky and very rarely eat meat at a restaurant. So, I tend to go for higher calorie pasta etc. I need to be careful.

4)Do spinning at least twice a week. Once in class and another time fore at least 20 min on my own.

5) Go for one long walk (2hrs-ish) each week.

6) Go for at least 2 smaller walks each week.

7) Drink at least 4 litres of water a day. So far so good.

8) Apply for jobs. I need to apply for at least 20 jobs in Greater Vancouver a week.

9)Loose a total of 15 lbs by the end of may.

10) Get a minimun of 40 AP points each week.

I can do it!

And the number is....

2009-04-27T07:58:00.000-07:00

So I did my WI this morning and glory be to God it is a good number. Before I tell you what it is, I feeled complelled to mention the following.

1) I have not felt acutally "hungry" since I figured out to eat more filling foods.
2) This was in NO WAY painful. I actually felt like I was eating a ton.
3) I absolutly KNOW that I have not lost any muscle mass, becuase Jillian has been kicking my butt everyday on top of normal gym stuff.
4) I have the most energy I've had in a while and definitly don't feel that weak "I'm gonna pass out-SB feeling"
5) I kind of, sort of, almost, well alight....believe that diet and exercise is the right way to lose weight? Until of course I reach some plateau, (ie JUJU) and get frusterated and have visions of Jello fat-free pudding dancing in my head.

Please also note that this # is up there with SB numbers. Also, I feel like I'm on the biggest loser.

Most importantly, I know I have set the standard high and I DO NOT expect numbers like this weekly. I understand the this is normal for week 1 and much of it is probably water weight and my body will level out.

HOWEVER!

-7.5 lbs

Time to celebrate!

We need a change, yeah, do it today, yeah....

2009-04-25T08:51:00.000-07:00

Alright, so this WW think seems to be going really really well. I am as motivated or mre motivated as I was on day 1. Yes, it has ony been 6 days (and really only 5 since I began the proper eating - but my wiegh in day in on Monday) but I feel super. I think the shredding has a lot to do with this greatness too.
Please note, that after 6 days of WW and 7 days of shredding I can now fit back into AND do up my pair os silver jeans that last week I couldn't get over my big bum. I'm not saying I'm wearing them out quite yet (sitting down doesn't look pretty at all) BUT, I have them on and done up. I'm actally looking forward to the weigh in on Monday. Also, I took my measurements on Monday as well and I'll take them again after 15 days of shredding just to see.
The eating is definitly under control. I am now seeing how much more I was eating on a daily basis. It's not that I was eating junk, but I was definitly eating all day. Oddly, I've made better and more yummy recipes the last few days and I don't feel like I am "depriving myself" at all at meals, which I think is the point.
Anyways, I begin this weekend motivated to continue. And that's more than I could have asked for.
Reeb

Thursday already?

2009-04-23T18:16:00.000-07:00

Woke up pretty hungry this morning.

Breakfast - Raisin Bran w/ Milk

Did Shredding

Went to Costco and bought a ton of yummy food. I came to the realization that just eating 1/3 of what I normally ate to get to my points leaves me damn hungry. SOOO, new recipes and much more success today!

Lunch - Chicken wrap with Sweet Thai Chili Sauce (yummy!) and 1 cup of Veg. Soup

Snack - ALL BRAN BAR - A -- MA -- ZING

Dinner - Chicken quesidilla filled with veggies. Made with one wrap folded over. SOOO good and I'm feeling a little more than full right now. Which is good.

Snack - I have planned to have strawberries, grapes and an apple for my snack.

All in all, good day. Going to make it to the gym Fri, Sat, Sun, Mon and shredding so should be great :)

Snow Day!

2009-04-23T09:14:00.000-07:00

So it's blizzarding outside. In April. Yesterday it was 22 degrees. Today, 3 feet of snow and fricken freezing. Geesh.

Got up at 7:30 and did my Shredding beofre teaching this morning. Day 5 level 1. I think I'll move onto level 2 tomorrow to give my shins a break. The butt kicks and jump rope are the problem. Looking forward to it.

I checked out some of those blogs form the WW Thread you started yesterday. Awesome! Facebook is a joke, I can waste WAY more time with WW, haha. But seriously, it's all good motivating stuff. Better than who broke up with so and so etc.

I'd like to make a trip to Costco today and restock veggies etc.....but the roads look bad. We'll see.

Duh....apparently I forgot that there are 0 points foods. I won't make that mistake again. Also, I know it probably isn't permanant, but I couldn't resist getting on the scale today. -3lbs. We'll see if it holds.

I will update again soon.

Eggs Benedict and Feel the Burn

2009-04-22T08:54:00.000-07:00

Variety is the spice of life. I've decided to try a new WW recipe each day to avaoid becoming bored. I get bored with food. Then I get angry. Today I tried the Eggs Benedict recipe for breakfast. REALLY yummy. I like sauce, as you know, and this was saucy and yummy and negated the need for margerine or any oil. The recipe says to add an optional drop of yello food coloring to the sauce, so I did. Makes a big difference when it actually looks like what your used to it tasting like. Tricks the brain. Try it.

I'm embracing the WW GDF, haha, I dig the acronyms. What is a DH? I posted a couple things yesteday.

Day four of Shedding today. I'm pumped. I will do it at 10:30. Please note after Shredding today I will have 16 APs for the week. My goal was 20. I'm going to up my goal to 30. No reason at all why I can't do that. PS - I LOVED LOVED LOVED spinning yesterday. Like I've never felt this way about any exercise before. If they had it every day I would go everyday. I think I'm going to try to do like 20min by myself. I'll make a plan.

BL last night. Goodbye to you know who. (Incase you havn't watched it yet....I won't spoil it.) Saw it coming though. Too bad. However, I love the BL Transformation moment. Makes me feel so happy for them.

Got the hubby all started last night with WW. He seems motivated so that's good. We'll see.

Looking forward to my new cookbook.

What came first? The Chicken or the Easter Egg?

2009-04-07T15:22:00.001-07:00

Want to know what I did today?

Basically made the most wonderful Easter Eggs Ever! Saw it on Martha Stewart. This is, in fact, my second Martha venture. SO much fun.

Took me about 3 hours to complete. Had to "blow out" all the eggs....sounds gross and kind of is. Then painted with glue and covered in glitter. The polka-dotted ones I dyed first, then used the back of a tack to make little dots to cover in glitter.

Ah what a glorious day. Taking these to the inlaws this weekend, hopefully to be used as a table centerpiece.

Also, had spinning today. It was Wonderful. Did you know you burn 600-1000 per 45min? Makes me love it even more.

So excited for your arrival :)

Motive-ation

2009-04-02T07:45:00.000-07:00

I start spinning this morning. I'm excited and also dreading it. I havn't been to the gym in like a week because Kiwanis prevented me from having more than 2 hrs free at a time. I've been looking forward to getting back to my schedule. I like schdules. I don't work so well under randomness anymore. I'm feeling motivated to get back to the routine again. I'll let you know how it goes.

Easy to find but hard to keep, this motivation thing is tough.

Please also note that I am currently reading a Judy Garland Biography ("Get Happy...the life of Judy Garland.") Did you know that her real name was Frances Ethel Gumm? SHe changed it as a teenager and success followed. Perhaps if I should change my name too. This "Becky" is getting a little old. :)

This is kinda funny....

2009-03-21T11:28:00.000-07:00

Make sue you read the very bottem part too:)

Hi my name is Reba, and I have a problem....

2009-03-16T19:21:00.001-07:00

My problem is this: Selective Forgetfulness. I'm not sure if it's a real word. But it's definitely my problem. I did something today which I know in the past I have sworn to myself I'd never do again. I signed up for a spinning class. Sigh.

I saw a sign advertising 8 weeks of spinning for $100 at my gym. It looked exciting. The people in the picture looked like they were having fun. They looked happy. That could be me!!For some reason, I thought "Yeah, I should totally do that." As I walked to my car a few minutes later it all came flooding back to me. 5am, wanting to pass out, girl from India fasting, SB, no hard candies for us, and alas....quitting after 3 (or 2?) sessions. Had I lost my mind? Perhaps the exercise high had affected by better judgment. Was I forgetting how much I hated spinning?

There are however 3 main differences this time around.

#1 (and probably most importantly) - I will be consuming food on a regular basis. I may even (gasp!) have some carbs before I go.

#2 - The class starts at 9am. Much better than 6am.

#3 - I may have, possibly, built up a little stamina during my last few months at the gym. Hopefully.

I know it will be hard. But dammit I refuse to get off the bike and walk out with 8 other people watching me. I can do it. I will hate it. I already hate it. But I think it will be good.

I have chosen to selectively forget my previous spinning experience, in the hopes of creating better and much for lasting positive memories.

I still hate it though.

Reba

Also...

2009-03-14T21:17:00.000-07:00

There is a new addition to the bottom of my blog. A funny pic. I will change it every time you comment. So check it out.

Read the post below with your hub-hub. Funny stuff.

Ficticious account...not even loosely based on reality.

2009-03-14T20:26:00.000-07:00

Name: Tina
Type: Hamster
Breed: Teddy Bear
Age: 8 months

Length of Stay: 15-20 hours
Special instructions: If Tina dies, please replace her with another, very similar looking hamster.

Our Story
Tina arrived late in the afternoon. Her mommy and daddy said they would be arriving around 3pm, but I did not get the opportunity to meet this precious girl until close to 4pm. The weather is cool, about -5 degrees and there are some clouds. I recommend covering the cage during transport of Tina to prevent illness due to a draft. She seemed a little chilly when she arrived.

4pm-5pm - Tina and I took a little time to used to one another. I let her sniff around her cage to get used to the new smells. I have begun adding one drop of my house water into her water every 10 minutes to get her used to my distilled water. Distilled water will be better for her system.

5-6pm - Tina showed some interest in leaving her cage so we both decided it might be nice to explore the living room. Although I have no hamsters of my own, I have place several rodent friendly toys around the house. Various tubes for them to run through and things of that nature. The weather is changing a bit. I feel a little precipitation in the air. I'm sensing that Tina feels it too. Her hair seems electrically charged. Have you noticed this at all?

6-7pm - We settle in for a late dinner. I bring Tina to the table in her cage and we share some greens. She seems to be enjoying my organic selections. Have you considered switching her to an organic diet? Also, note that her urine has a pleasing odor due to my distilled water.

7-8pm - I get on the elliptical and I can see Tina looking at me longingly. I set up the ball for her and we run along side each other. I think there was a moment when our hearts we beating in sync. What a fit girl she is!

8-9pm - The weather has turned for the worst and a storm has moved in. Tina seems a little frightened so we will both sleep in the basement this evening. I have set my alarm for every 45min to check on her.

9:45, 10:30, 11:15, Midnight, 1:45, 2:30, 3:15, 4:00, 4:45, 5:30, 6:15 - Woke up to check on Tina. Don't worry, I didn't wake her. I simply laid my head near her to check if she was breathing. She was.

7am - Tina and I woke up. We had a light breakfast of more organic greens. I also gave her some of my home-made honey stick...she LOVED it. I will send her home with some for a special treat. We watch the news and wait for mommy and daddy to pic her up

8:30am - You have just called and are around the corner. It's like she knows your coming, her eyes just lit up!

Thank you so much for trusting me with Tina's Care. Although I am not a vet or a professional of any kind and even though I do not personally own a hamster, these are my recommendations for Tina.
1) Switch to distilled water in her water tube. There is a noticeable difference in her odor.
2) Consider organic greens. Much better on the system. Do you really want her ingesting all those pesticides?
3) Get her eyes checked. She seemed to be squinting a lot, especially in the dark. This may be a sign of early onset diabetes.
4) Cover her cage during transport. Would you got out without a coat?
5) Gah, I don't know why, but I have the slightest suspicion that Tina may like to eat ham. Or maybe not.
Total Cost for Services Rendered = $16.50

Who's Bad?

2009-03-13T10:51:00.000-07:00

"People Always Told Me Be Careful Of What You Do

And Don't Go Around Breaking Young Girls' Hearts

And Mother Always Told Me Be Careful Of Who You Love

And Be Careful Of What You Do

'Cause The Lie Becomes The Truth..."

I simply can not explain how I feel about this man. It's a little unnatural. Or maybe not. I get hives whenever I see him. I feel like it's the first day of grade ten whenever I watch his videos. His music makes me giddy. Think Janet + Mariah + Celine. Times ten.

He just announced concerts in London earlier this week and I tried everything to try and get tickets. To London. How in the heck was I going to afford to go to London? I almost got crazy about it. I had a plan to work for extra money at Tim Horton's and everything. I decided I would work as the sandwich maker.

The point is, I have no idea why I am willing to do this sort of thing for a singer. A crazy man at that. But I tell ya, when he puts that hat on and tilts it in front of his face and you squint your eyes a little and if the lighting is just right...you could almost swear he looks like a human being. The craziest thing is, I know for a fact that I would pass out and miss the whole concert. When I watch the concert DVD's I get light headed and hyperventalate a little. So whats the damn point? Still, it kills me to think I wont ever see him perform. Makes me really sad. I truely would do just about anything to be there.

I think I need to talk to someone about my obession with people that I don't know. What do you think?

OMG, we coulda used this during SB

2009-03-07T12:33:00.000-08:00

I have not tried them but I intend to very soon. I'm going to have to look up the agave nectar.

The following is a copy and paste from http://andreayaya.typepad.com/rookie_cookery/

This has about 2/3 the calories of other brownies. Calories aside, I think the real benefit to this recipe is the fact that beans take a lot longer to digest than white flour and are thus lower on the glycemic index, which measures the rise in blood sugar after a certain food is consumed. The substitution of agave nectar for sugar is going to make this a lower glycemic index dessert. Just remember: it is still dessert! So eat in moderation and enjoy.

Black Bean Brownies!!!

INGREDIENTS
4 ounces unsweetened chocolate

1 cup unsalted butter

2 cups soft-cooked black beans, rinsed and drained (I used canned)

1 cup walnuts, chopped

1 tablespoon vanilla extract

1/4 cup instant espresso coffee

1/4 teaspoon salt

4 large eggs1

1/2 cups agave nectar
DIRECTIONS

Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F. Lightly spray a 9 x 13 inch baking pan with vegetable oil.
On the stovetop, melt the chocolate and butter and blend it together thoroughly with a spoon. In a food processor, blend together the beans, half the walnuts, vanilla and a few spoonfuls of the melted butter-chocolate. The mixture should be smooth and thick.
In another large bowl, mix together the remaining half of the walnuts, the rest of the chocolate-butter, espresso and salt. Mix thoroughly with a spoon.
In a mixing bowl, beat the eggs until light and creamy. Add the agave nectar and beat together with the eggs thoroughly. Set aside.
Add the bean mixture to the coffee/chocolate mixture and blend well. Then add the egg mixture and mix until well incorporated.
Pour the batter into the prepared pan. Bake for 30 to 40 minutes, until brownies are set and a toothpick can be inserted and removed clean. Let cool completely before cutting into squares. Refrigerate to enhance firmness and prolong freshness.

Do vegetarians eat Animal Crackers?

2009-03-07T11:31:00.000-08:00

This blog entry could alternativly be known as;
"If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?"

In my ever-present search for a more fulfilling existence I have come across "The Food Blog." The food blog is a marvelous thing. Especially when there are pictures. I can spend hours searching these blogs while cutting and pasting recipes. I believe I may start to take pictures of my especially appealing dishes. (I think your friend does that...come to think of it, doesn't she have a food blog.....what is it?)
Anyways, this is my new favorite past-time and I thought you might be interested. The following link is a good place to start.

http://www.foodblogblog.com/

PS - I'm anxiously awaiting your blog premiere. Please hurry up already :)

Extremely Random

2009-03-04T13:04:00.000-08:00

myriad • \MEER-ee-ud\ • noun
1 : ten thousand
*2 : a great number
Example Sentence:The octo-mom received a myriad of e-mails suggesting that she she not a fit mother.

Please note that TRANSMORGRIFY was on page 360-something of the book I just finished. I laughed.

I had to go to the University yesterday to meet with an accompanist. It's strange how a place can have such a great impact on how you feel. The university makes me feel anxious. Strange, and out of place. I feel like I know something that none of the students know and I just want to yell "None of this freaking matters!!!" It's the same feeling that I have when my 15 year old students come to lessons crying because of parents/boyfriends/friends. I want to say, "Listen, I know it all seems like it means so much now, but trust me, in a few years you'll look back and realize that none of this stuff is really that big of a deal." I usually don't say that because it's about as effective talking to a wall. However, it's interesting to think about.
The thing is, nothing in life really matters, until you add up all the little parts and experiences. I am who I am because of every little thing I've done in my life. The fact that I dated whomever, and didn't clean my room and didn't screw up my recitals and finished my papers on time didn't make me who I am. BUT, I dated who I dated and realized what I wanted in a husband and found that in Cory and didn't settle for any less. I look at all the little things in my life that I dread or don't think I can complete and I remember the fact that I DID that recital and FINISHED those papers and I have the potential to do whatever I want, if I just do it. That fact is worth more than the piece of paper that represents the degree I have framed on my wall.
I have no idea where I'm going with this. I guess the point is: Here's the secret people-none of it matters, but just do it because at some point in all this SOMETHING will matter. You won't know what it is until you look back and as they say, everything is 20/20 in hindsight. If your lucky you'll find out that you can take a lot of crap from an ass who thinks he's the king of the world and come out the otherside a more confident and self-assured girl, you'll find out that you can complete whatever you try, even with a deadline or an audience staring you in the face, you might even meet your husband or your best friend. Life is weird. This makes no sense. Talk to you soon.

A petite update.

2009-02-23T21:16:00.001-08:00

Speaking of cheese. I tried 'chocolate cheese' this weekend. It's a damn shame that I did. It was wonderful. Better than fudge I believe. Tangier. Less sweet. Probably more fattening.

I had a great weekend. Here is why;
1) Had a wonderful birthday dinner for my hubby at the Olive Garden with the fam.
2) Went to the "Marilyn Monroe" exhibit at the Glenbow. Wonderful. Saw some of her dresses and some naked pics (?) too. Well worth it.
3) Went to the Theater Calgary Production of "Doubt." Also wonderful. And intense. We sat in the front row and I have a really hard time just "watching" a performance. I'm watching people come on and off stage, praying they don't screw up and making sure they aren't missing their cues. I can't let it go and just watch. But I tried.
4) Went for lunch with Isotti. Always lovely.
5) Went to Charlie's shower. Here, I reconnected with a girlfriend I haven't seen in forever and felt really great about it.
6) Met Charlie. Loved Charlie. Cried during our initial embrace. Too funny.
7) Spent the evening and day with Kels and babe and enjoyed every moment of it.
8) Small brother turned 15 on Sunday. I remember when I was 15....
9) Parents anniversary today.
10) Cory turns 25 tomorrow.

Intense weekend. But the best in a long time. Only would have been better if I'd have seen you my love :)

Hope your weigh-in was successful this morning. Talk soon.
Rebe

Say Cheese!

2009-02-20T11:23:00.000-08:00

turophile
(toor'-oh-file, tyoor'-oh-file) n. a connoisseur of cheese; a cheese fancier.

Example sentence - Becky is a major turophile. Her favorite is Applewood Smoked Chedder.

Top Ten (well eleven...) Reasons I Love Mariah

2009-02-17T21:37:00.000-08:00

11) I love her version of O Holy Night. There is a moment in that song where she literally takes over the high violin part with her voice. It's phenomenal. Totally unnecessary, but phenomenal none the less.

10) She said "My mother is Irish, my father is black and Venezuelan, and me - I'm tan, I guess." Seriously? This is why I sometimes feel embarrassed to admit she is my hero.

9) She made a movie about a mixed race little girl with a weird relationship with her father who, ironically, becomes a famous singer. And she can't understand why people think it's autobiographical.

8) "One day I promised God that if he would give me my voice back I would never smoke again. I got three octaves back after quitting." Think about this. 3 octaves. C below middle C to 2 C's above middle C. This is my entire range. She regained these notes after quitting smoking. Oh my heck. I'm sorry I missed hearing her sing during her smoking period. I'm thinking about taking up smoking....if I quit do you think I could gain another octave or 2?

7) She's all about taking a theme and really running with it. She has a song called 'Butterfly', she has a butterfly tattoo, she has a butterfly belly button chain, she has 2 fragrances both in butterfly shaped containers and she said, and I quote, "Butterflies are always following me, everywhere I go.” I can dig this sort of thing. I love bandwagons.

6) She is the greatest Diva ever. She admits it. "I know I can be diva-ish sometimes, but I have to be in control. The nature of my life, the nature of what I do, is divadom, it really is.” Can you imagine her and Celine doing a duet. haha haha haha. "When I was a little girl, I had a rag doll.../ oooo.......oooooo!/ heeeeeee....ohhhhhh etc" It would be intense. Sort of like us singing in the car on the way to Vancouver. But with more hair.

5) She does the best interviews. If you ever get the chance look up her interview on Rachael Ray. I seriously sat on the floor 3 feet from the TV laughing hysterically. I thought I was going to loose it. I thought Rachael Ray was going to loose it. She tried to be all casual but it so didn't work. It was like Stepford meets transsexual meets exactly how you think Mariah would be. It was weird. And I almost had to turn it off. But sometimes I think about it when I'm about to fall asleep?

4) "I decided to make my own ski-wear range after I found there were no fashion outfits for me to wear on the piste. "....can you imagine her skiing. After seeing her walking down stairs at the concert I can't really believe she could ski. She would however look mighty fine in a one-piece ski suit....unzipped of course to reveal large breasts and a studded bra.

3) She really honestly believes in rainbows and butterflies and inspiration and heroes and daydreams and dreamlovers and all the other things real R&B singers won't sing about. But she also wrote "Touch my body," Fantasy" and "Honey." She's not afraid to mix sex and unicorns. Again....I really dig this type of thing.

2) "You'll always be a part of me, I'm part of you indefinitely. Boy don't you know you can't escape. Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby." Need I say more?

1) I can honestly say that she evoked so much emotion in me at her concert that I could not stand up. I screamed and I cried and I fell and I sang and I cried some more. For Mariah. If it wasn't for my wedding I'm afraid it would have been the most memorable time in my life. And Lord knows she had the enthusiasm of butterfly with all the dust rubbed off it's wings.

A new addition to the blog.

2009-02-17T21:19:00.001-08:00

I feel as though there are many interesting words that would benefit from use in our vocabulary. If it were not for the thesaurus, words such as 'transmogrify' may have failed to enlighten our essays and conversations. Therefor, I will provide you with a word of the day. I will attempt to find an interesting word. I encourage you to use this word in conversation. Today I have chosen to also provide you with a picture to further elaborate. This picture was taken this morning out my studio window. It features hoar frost. Not to be confused with whore frost.

frigorific • \frig-uh-RIFF-ik\ • adjective
: causing cold : chilling
Example Sentence: Julie shivered as she faced the frigorific blast of wind blowing off the lake.

Almost sounds like I made it up eh?...well I didn't. Enjoy.

"I'm not telling you it is going to be easy - I'm telling you it's going to be worth it"

2009-02-16T09:00:00.001-08:00

I quite like the above quote. I've been thinking a lot about my obession with instant gratitude (well really the whole cultures obsession with it...) The following are things we used to wait for without a thought;

1) Mail. No emails. No texts. Birthday cards came in the mail. And they sometimes didn't arrive until well past the day. That was alright though. Because an effort was made and we appreciated a late card as much as the ones that arrived on time.

2) TV shows. I used to watch TV at specific times to catch the shows I wanted to watch. Somehow I made it through 7 seasons of Full House without every watching the episodes online or on DVD. And I loved that show. And looked forward to the new episodes. Now I give up on a show if I can't find live streming online. And I'm usually pretty mad about it.

3) The caller on the phone. We would let the phone ring a few times and then answer it without (gaw!) knowing who was on the other end. I truley can't imagine answering a phone without knowing who was on the other end. God forbid I wait to answer the phone to see who the mystry caller is. I don't know how I got through high school without this technology.

4) Before there was ICQ (ugh-oh) and MSN and texting we had to wait to talk to our friends at school the next day. If we suddeny had a thought in the middle of the night we had to mull it over for several hours nefore bringing it over lunch in the cafeteria. Now every thought that everyone has is sent to someone. This may be the downfall of society. Constant regret. Doing things and saying things without much thought. Just "send."

I'm sure there are many more things out there I used to wait for. Now I have the patience of a goldfish. It's no wonder I think that getting healthy should happen faster. Vite, vite. I have places to go, people to see and no time for this. If I could I'd probably take a pill for this. That's sad.
Things are so easy now adays that I don't appreciate very much. I watch things are forget what I watched 10 minutes later. I go through days when I think "Wow, I did absolutly nothing of value today."(...ahh facebook.) I appreciate that damn degree I have. You know why? It took me 5 hard years of my life that I'll never get back. My marriage? 8 years of work to get to this place. That's why I really believe that even though getting healthy won't be easy, it will really be worth it.

PS - The scale was the lowest it's been this morning since beginning this journey. I'm sure it will go back up. Celebrate small victories though. I'm going for a breakfast sandwich with bacon. Just kidding :)

The worst thing...

2009-02-12T07:27:00.000-08:00

You know what the worst thing is? Contrary to what Ellen believes it is not pickle juice in the eye. It's when after 2 or 3 days of doing everything right (exercising, eating wonderfully, feeling great) you get on the scale and it moves up. Seriously? What immediately goes through my head are all the things I didn't eat and I think for a moment...what's the point.

I'm an immediate gratification kinda gal. I like to buy something, come home and use it. If I work hard I want to see results.

Last week on "The Biggest Loser" Gillian (the trainer) made a big stink about the whole "I haven't lost any weight, I've lost inches" deal. She says it's bologna...(balony?...what kind of spelling is this anyways?) Bologna maybe. But I think it's a nessesary mantra for those of us who are doing everything right and don't see the scale move in the direction want. Otherwise, what's the point?

Hopefully I can look back at this 6 months from now and realize that all I needed was a little patience.

A shift in thinking...

2009-02-10T11:57:00.000-08:00

I have had an 'aha' moment as the great Oprah would say. Let me explain.

There are many things I know for sure. I love my husband more than anything. I am a good sister. I can count my cherished friends on one hand. My family is everything. I love what I do for a living. I love children. I try to be punctual. I work very hard to be organized. I am intellegent, creative, talented and optimistic. I am also very aware of the fact that I am accident prone, stubborn and have a little bit of a control issue. I live this life according to all the many things that I am. I believe these things. They are the truths about me. Everyone close to me believes them too.

There are also a few things that I have never been. Among them; Thin. Physically strong. Athletic. Fast. I've never considered myself to be any of the above. I've never been able to relate to those words. I've been too busy being creative and musical and funny. Infact, when I start to think of myself as physically strong, for instance, I feel as though I am cheating a little on my "real self", the truth about me that dictates my life. Afterall how can one be athletic and artistic. There aren't enough blocks in high school to choose both. So my choice to be artistic has left me with a distorted view of myself.

My trainer recently told me that I am strong. She told me that we could move onto more challanging pushups because I am strong. I honestly thought "haha, yeah right, she obviously doesn't know me. I'm not strong. I'm trying to lose weight." Then it hit me. She doesn't know all the many things that I consider myself. She has no idea that I am creative and talented and punctual and funny and... All she knows is that I'm committed. I'm sweating through hour strength training sessions 3 times a week. I'm doing my cardio. And I'm getting stronger. Compared to many people she encounters, I might even been considered atlethic. Her view of me is different from everyone else in my life and it's a view that has always been missing.

What if I started thinking of myself as strong and fast. (All joking aside my coordination leaves somthing to be desired, so I doubt if I'll ever be captain of the badminton team.) What would this shift in thinking mean to my truth. How would it change the way I think about my life. I never realized how much I was limiting myself.

I am a wife, daughter, sister, friend and teacher. I am creative, artisitic, optimistic and strong. That is my new truth.