A shift in thinking...

I have had an 'aha' moment as the great Oprah would say. Let me explain.

There are many things I know for sure. I love my husband more than anything. I am a good sister. I can count my cherished friends on one hand. My family is everything. I love what I do for a living. I love children. I try to be punctual. I work very hard to be organized. I am intellegent, creative, talented and optimistic. I am also very aware of the fact that I am accident prone, stubborn and have a little bit of a control issue. I live this life according to all the many things that I am. I believe these things. They are the truths about me. Everyone close to me believes them too.

There are also a few things that I have never been. Among them; Thin. Physically strong. Athletic. Fast. I've never considered myself to be any of the above. I've never been able to relate to those words. I've been too busy being creative and musical and funny. Infact, when I start to think of myself as physically strong, for instance, I feel as though I am cheating a little on my "real self", the truth about me that dictates my life. Afterall how can one be athletic and artistic. There aren't enough blocks in high school to choose both. So my choice to be artistic has left me with a distorted view of myself.

My trainer recently told me that I am strong. She told me that we could move onto more challanging pushups because I am strong. I honestly thought "haha, yeah right, she obviously doesn't know me. I'm not strong. I'm trying to lose weight." Then it hit me. She doesn't know all the many things that I consider myself. She has no idea that I am creative and talented and punctual and funny and... All she knows is that I'm committed. I'm sweating through hour strength training sessions 3 times a week. I'm doing my cardio. And I'm getting stronger. Compared to many people she encounters, I might even been considered atlethic. Her view of me is different from everyone else in my life and it's a view that has always been missing.

What if I started thinking of myself as strong and fast. (All joking aside my coordination leaves somthing to be desired, so I doubt if I'll ever be captain of the badminton team.) What would this shift in thinking mean to my truth. How would it change the way I think about my life. I never realized how much I was limiting myself.

I am a wife, daughter, sister, friend and teacher. I am creative, artisitic, optimistic and strong. That is my new truth.